From worry to need
Do you dwell on things? Feel anxious? See trouble and challenge everywhere? Get ready to act resiliently.
I wish I could tell you that I came to this wisdom from books and theories but the truth is life has thrown me my fair share of poop piles and I have needed to learn how not to disappear or feel anxious or lose myself to depression.
The raw truth is that I did that once.
I spent a good 5 years floating in and out of depression to dysthymia (low grade blah). I got up and went to school and work. I saw friends and dated but I didn't feel much. And I worried a lot. About everything.
Common worries included:
-what were people thinking about me
-was I over weight
-was I doing my job right
-was I dating the right person
-was I making my family happy
-was I on the right path
-did I have enough money
-was I in too much debt
-would I retire well
-was I ...you name it...I could go on and on here.
And my worries would get negative and self defeating:
-what was the point because things will never change
-if everyone knew me they wouldn't like me
-my boss will find out what a fake I am soon and I will be fired
-my lover only wants me for sex
-and so on...
Here's the thing, in order to apply mindfulness to worrying we need to understand that worry can be helpful if we look at it's underlying meaning.
Under all worry is need.
The need for safety.
The need for love.
The need for money.
The need for ...the list can go on.
So let's translate our worry into needs to bring them back to the present moment where all our power is.
Once we have our power we can create an action to help keep us focused on the moment and creating the experiences we want. (Not worrying!!)
What are people thinking of me worry becomes:
I need some deep intimate relationships with honest kind people.
Radical Action: Book a tea with someone I think is honest and kind and share my need for deep intimacy with them.
Am I over weight worry becomes:
I need to feel happy and healthy in my body.
Radical Action: I book an appointment with a health care professional I trust to speak about my weight "worries".
Am I in too much debt becomes:
I need to feel safe and secure financially.
Radical Action: I speak with a financial planner or my credit union to make a doable plan to get me out of debt.
Wooowhooo! And I can do that for the whole list.
Take my power back.
Be in the present moment!
So go ahead and make the list of worries that is holding you back. Then find the need and brain storm a radical action to take to be in your power, in your now, creating your life.
You'll note I only did 3.
That's because doing too much at once, is too much at once for my beautiful but very human brain (and yours too.) So start small!!!
Do you need help with the need and worry brain storming? Send me an email or book an appointment, I offer a free 30 minute session to new clients and that is lots of time to ditch our worries!
As always, I am here to remind you that You Are Enough and it's time to stop suffering and love your life. Let me know how I can help.
PS. If this has helped you, it may help someone you love. Please share far and wide. More love and compassion in the world is a good thing!
PPS: On line scheduling now available: https://caseyberard.acuityscheduling.com/
Did you know I offer free 30 minutes introductory sessions to new clients (60 minutes to couples!)
PPPS: Want more inspiration and in the wordy format? Check out my blog and articles:
10 Reasons Slowing Down will Actually Speed Up Your Life:
Bring on the feelings, they will set you free
Unwavering Love for our Inner child:
10 Things I am giving up to thrive: