Forgiveness: an overview
I have been learning a lot about forgiveness and holding onto things through my almost nine year old today.
You see he is holding onto an experience--retelling the story, venting, getting angry and frustrated, crying and yelling. It started to effect his daily life too.
So we walked and talked about forgiveness.
I have to say, very rarely do I, my friends, my clients and now my son jump at the idea of forgiveness. Usually for me, it is my ego taking over and setting a very clear line in the sand about right and wrong, good and bad. Usually the line is: I am right and they are wrong. AND I will never forget or forgive that!!
There are two big problems:
1. Usually the other person has moved on or forgotten
2. We are bathing ourselves through replaying the event over and over in stress and inflammation creating neurotransmitters which then lead to a decrease in immune function and other heal concerns.
There is another way.
1. Be heard by a kind, and compassionate friend or professional for as long as you need.*
*For little issues this could take a few minutes, to a few days and for larger issues it could take months or years. There is a definite energy releasing process to unfold that can't be judged or rushed. Instead honour and relax into the process as much as you can knowing that this path is an important one.
2. Once heard, be willing to leave the incident in the past.
Leaving the incident in the past is by no means about saying it didn't happen or that the person is "good" or "let off the hook" for their actions. It simply means you are no longer willing to carry the burden of pain forward with you. That's it.
3. Forgive the person and yourselfto set yourself free.
Forgiveness is done to restore harmony to our being. When done authentically it can feel like tons of weight has been lifted off our shoulders. I always remind myself that I am doing it to heal me. To set myself free of pain and suffering. I have to make sure I stay in my own business or the forgiveness doesn't work.
Wishing you patience and kindness as you work through any anger or pain you have holding you back. Know you are not alone: that I, my children, my friends and clients have all been there. You are in good company and loved as you walk this path. Here's to connecting you back with YOU!
As always, I am here to remind you that You Are Enough and it's time to stop suffering and love your life.
Let me know how I can help.
PS. If this has helped you, it may help someone you love. Please share far and wide. More love and compassion in the world is a good thing!