Hello fellow boundary seeker,
If you are anything like me you are a seeker and searcher. You always want a little more happiness, a little more connection, just a little more life.
I am reading a great book on creating called, "Making Your Creative Mark
" and wouldn't you know the author Eric Maisel practically quotes me?!
He says, "often a creative person's lack of confidence plays itself out in boundary issues, that is, as the way she gives herself away to other people or as the way she enters into volatile relationships with them."the way she gives herself away to other people
The way we give ourselves away
---this is a pertinent not great habit to start to recognize and call ourselves out on so we can change it.
A happy, satisfying life rarely involve feeling drained or empty. That's what giving without receiving creates.
We give too much when we don't know where we want to go and what we want to do. The lack of knowing ironically restricts our ability to get anywhere. What a mess!I use this work sheet over and over.
(pdf version available through link: print and share freely-just acknowledge where you got it from!)
It helps me focus. I check in on Sunday night with the overall weeks projects and then break them down intodaily tasks that I centre and ground in first thing in the morning
(this sets my structure or boundaries for the day). Check ins are only five minutes unless I am starting a new big project!
This is an exercise in reverse engineering your boundaries.
Start with what really adds meaning to you life; adding big items first and then breaking it down into smaller tasks, make sure to have unscheduled time too.
Then when someone says can you do this ______? You can say "absolutely" or with clarity, "not today, but next week". Or whatever response is true.
Other amazing responses could include:
- Not now, but later
- I will have to take a rain check on that
- I would love to spend time doing ______ instead
- I have 15 minutes to offer you (or an hour...)
- I can book you in 2 weeks from now at 11 am
- I would love to do that.
- I can do that if it's child friendly
- And so many more.
Practice the no's and the yes's.
Get together with other like minded, boundary friendly friends and brainstorm ways to say yes and ways to say no with kind, assertiveness. (check out my assertiveness charthere
If you want help facilitating a group I am happy to be your guide-
-you'd be amazed how much fun a get together is with me, food, and drinkies to help you grow and create deeper connection while maintaining your boundaries with your already amazing peeps! Personal growth has never been so fun and enlightening.
You can book afree 30 minute consult here
to see how I can tailor a fun, expansive, inspiring evening or brunch for you.
As always, I am here to remind you that You Are Enough and it's time to stop suffering and love your life.
Let me know how I can help.
PS. If this has helped you, it may help someone you love. Please share far and wide. More love and compassion in the world is a good thing!