Fear: Feelings As Friends 1 of 3 blogs
Ready for signs that fear is rearing its ugly head in your life? Are you ready to make fear your friend? Can fear be good?
I have your back. Let’s start to love the good fears in our life!
–Do you ever procrastinate?
—Lose track of time?
–Forget where you were going?
It’s time to start using your feelings as friends…
”Oh what is this woman saying?”
… yeah, I’m saying we can embrace all our feelings as friends.
The feeling that I have chosen to start out with—because it is the basic feeling in the theories and philosophies that I’ve studied, is fear. It’s developed very early in our lives, like right from the moment the egg and sperm connect and we divide into two cells, we feel fear.
So I’m going to do a series of three blogs on fear.
We’re gonna do: good fears, bad fears and we’ll do the 3rd where we learn to look at and break down through visualizations and connection with ourselves, how we can face fear and allow fear to be our friend.
So Casey, you say, “fear can be my friend,” and I say, “yes! interestingly enough fear and excitement are actually the same neurotransmitters
in our body.” It’s just our brains interpret of them and then the thoughts we add that cause fear to be good or bad…excitement/growth or terror/avoidance.
And it’s how we perceive our thoughts that give us the feeling in our body of a good glowy feeling of fear.
Good Fear Examples:
- You’re so excited: you have a first date and you feel the butterflies in your stomach but you’re still gonna push through that feeling of nervous excitement and go forward to see if there could be something good on the other side of this first date.
2. Going to a job interview where you’re wanting to get to know the prospective employer and the employer’s wanting to get to know you. You can feel each other out! Totally worth it, and really challenging…fear at it’s finest.
3. Starting a new hobby or learning a new skill.
Starting something new!
Oh my god, I still remember the first time I decided I wanted to learn clay and at this point in my life I’d been an expert in all the areas that I had been working in, on a daily basis for years.
I was really in my comfort zone and I was feeling really cozy.
So, I decided I wanted to learn clay because I love doing art and needed a new challenge.
I sucked at it.
I remember calling my boyfriend at the time and saying, “what am I gonna do? I am brutal at this!” And he was so compassionate, he said, “you know Casey, that’s just part of the process—that fear is something you kind of have to push through and know that you will get better and better as you keep going!”
And sure enough, as I took a 2nd, 3rd, 4th class and continued to play with the medium I did get better (and I made some friends) .
I’m certainly never gonna be an artist from a clay perspective but I felt my fear, I took that risk and I stepped out of my comfort zone and that
is 100% a good feeling of fear.
So, good fears include:
-going on a first date
-trying something new
-going to a job interview and seeing how it goes
Now the challenge people have is that:
—and I don’t know if you’ve caught this—
*We’re moving from one spot: where we feel really comfy cozy to this strange new place and we think:
hmm like there might be something over there but this is so cozy here —-
So we have to take this leap of faith!
And move from this one comfy cozy section of our life and we cross this chasm of fear!
Now what I can tell you from almost 20 years of working with clients is that from this comfy space to this new space— it’s kind of cool—because there’s this darkness that we perceive is gonna be happening and it’s like a motion sensor goes off and you step out “there”
…..doot-doot-doot to do ….and once you step there,
a light shines and you get the next step,
and the next step,
and the next step,
and the next step!
I like visualizations and imagery to help connect into my whole being what’s gonna happen, so I’m not scared and I think that’s one of the things that I do well as a coach—I encourage people through my book wisdom, and my years of experience—to:
- find the analogy or
- the metaphor or
- a visualization
Learn to recognize in your biofeedback and journey of your body/mind/spirit:
- when we’re in this comfort zone
- when we have this good fear that’s saying jump over here into
this next space: that there will be a motion sensor light that guides
- we will be on a well lit path and that shows us on our way, whether it’s one step at a time or multiple paths at a time.
- we will be invited to this place we need to go and we’ll be inspired on many levels.
- we’ll get through our fear with our intellect, with our heart, with our soul, and spirit expressing themselves and that’s some of the good news!!
- what’s more: the more we do this and the more we surround ourselves with like-minded people who know that this is what happens when you feel the good fear and step out of that comfort zone, the more likely we will to do it over and over and over again
Fear never goes away!
It’s so funny because I love making videos for all you feisty Souls out there and I still, every time I schedule it in my calendar feel that anticipatory
fear and doubt and I use exactly these strategies to remind myself
–Casey you’re sitting in your nice comfy little zone and you know once the video is made you’ll be super excited about it but you’ve got to take that leap and jump and know that it will happen.
I have to wrestle through things like finding the right lighting, getting the sound right, did I put on too much makeup?
All sorts of resistance is normal between comfort zone fear (good fear) and growth. It is normal.
The difference now is I am not afraid of fear.
Fear is my friend and I use strategies and mindset shifts to help me get
So I hope I’m talking you into the good fears in life and that there are some really good fears.
Blog #2 of 3…we’re gonna talk about the fears that are not the most joyous, not the most brilliant– I’m even labeling them as “bad fears” and I’m gonna
divide them into some different categories to help us befriend them.
So stay tuned because we’re gonna add a wealth of knowledge to your